We’ve had a few people asking how to get these stupid annoying articles out of the news feed for their favourite games on Steam. Read on to learn more… About other stuff, clearly. This week I’m going to give away some Really Good Ideas for free*! *All I want in return is an obtrusively prominent statue of me in the resulting game. I’m starting off with a doozy. And in case you thought these were going to be jokey “good ideas”, prepare to be humbled, because this is properly great: Total War: Total War See! I assume you’re already ahead of me, but a Total War game that pits all the most favourite armies from the thirteen games against one another. Imagine seeing who could win a fight between Shogun’s Hōjō and Rome II’s Egyptians? Warhammer’s Vampires against Napoleon’s Prussians. Come on, this would be amazing! And not too much work – they’ve already got the maps, to give either side home advantage. … [Read more...] about Steam Charts: Hard Boiled Wisdom Edition
Maplestory steam charts
Why, what’s this? Oh I say, a Steam Charts you say? How intriguing. I’ve got a cold. Every part of my body feels like it’s filled with stinging nettles, and my limbs are as heavy as cars. Also cough. Cough cough cough. Meanwhile, it’s the hottest August Bank Holiday on record. I require your sympathy, and your cash. Paypal accepted. Presumably even more definitive now than it was when it came out two years ago, this is the first time the remake of Ensemble’s strategy classic has been released from the shackles of the Microsoft Gaming Store. So presumably the first time it’s encountered any sales. It’s not called the Microsoft Gaming Store, but that you probably didn’t realise is exactly the issue. Microsoft’s hubris of releasing games exclusively on their own outrageously obscure and obfuscated store has long bewildered me – a system so poor it’s nigh on impossible to find out where it’s actually installing your … [Read more...] about Steam Charts: Subdued Edition
Hello, I’m high school sweetheart, John Walker. Welcome, if you can, to Steam Charts. We start at number 9 this week, to spare everyone the horror of my writing about a Plunkbat season pass. You might think that £28 is a lot to pay for a “cosmetic pet” to add to ARK: Survival Evolved, and that would be because you’re right. One would have to be [checks graph]… a colossal idiot to do that. Welcome to PC games. Come December, if it’s finished by then, you’ll also get ARK: Genesis Part 1, but for the same price it would cost you if you waited to buy it once you’ve found out whether it’s any good or not. Then just a mere year later, you’ll get Genesis Part 2. You know, those year-long seasons you get, comprised of two parts. The other ingenious aspect of this recently announced expansion is that, nowhere I can find, do they detail what’s actually in Part 1 and what’s in Part 2, meaning that they can basically put … [Read more...] about Steam Charts: Win A Free Car Edition!
Usually after the Steam summer sale horror show, the Steam Charts offer us some respite in the lull between AAA releases and allow us to celebrate the successful release of a bunch of indie games. But as you’ll have noticed if you’ve looked at 2019, nothing follows the rules of sense and decorum any longer. So it is that last week and this, we’ve had charts that feature only a single recently released game. So this week we’re taking a trip! To a parallel dimension! Using my own patent-pending shoestring theory technology, simply press your finger against the red button below, and you will be transported to another version of our universe in which all AAA games are delightful indie projects that have caught the imagination of the games-buying masses! Amazing! It worked! Indie collective Bethesda have been working out of Baltimore for an incredible twenty years, their unique approach to development allowing a sustainable production cycle on a minimal budget. … [Read more...] about Steam Charts: Silly String Edition
It’s another dire old week in Chartland, with the last breaths of the Summer Sale ensuring, with the exception of spots #4 and #5, that all the usual suspects dominate. But we won’t let that change us! We’re better than this! We’re going to have fun anyway! In the 1970s there was punk, an anarchic response to the decade’s flamboyant mainstream rock music, accompanied by a subculture of youthful rebellion just in time for the rise of Thatcherism in the UK. In the 1990s there was post-punk, a far more commercial endeavour in which punk-influenced bands like Green Day, Rancid and (the best one) NOFX found a more chart-friendly approach with the infusion of pop, and the abandoning of anything genuinely counter-cultural. In the 2000s there was nu-punk, a demoralising dirge of a man trying to do a shouty rap while another man sang angrily about his feelings, that had absolutely nothing to do with punk whatsoever and was a grotesque offence to the very concept. … [Read more...] about Steam Charts: Bubbling Trousers Edition