In the world of Alita: Battle Angel, robots (or cyborgs) are commonplace. The inhabitants of Iron City regularly undergo cybernetic enhancements, and deal with “hardbodies,” i.e. through-and-through robots. Though there’s plenty to like about Rodriguez’s latest movie — Motorball! Mahershala Ali! Mars attacks! — the best thing about the film, which is stuffed to the gills with robots, is the sheer balls-to-the-wall inventiveness that Robert Rodriguez and his team have embraced in bringing them to life. But just as there can only be one true champion in Motorball (which should be an Olympic sport, just one woman’s opinion), there can only be one robot champion to come out of Alita: Battle Angel. We’ve rounded up the ones who made the biggest impressions here, in an objectively correctly ranked list. [Ed. note: Spoilers for Alita: Battle Angel from here on out.] Honorable mentions: Though he isn’t a robot or a cyborg, we have to give … [Read more...] about A definitive ranking of the robots in Alita: Battle Angel
Fantasy football qb rankings
Final Fantasy VIII, aka the best Final Fantasy, is 20 years old today. Here’s our list article about that. So you thought you’d celebrate your 20th birthday by taking all your celestial god buds out for a drink, did you? Biggest mistake of your life, pal. Oh, sure, they’ll save your life from a time-travelling sorceress in a pinch, but when it comes to a night out, I’ve never seen a sorrier bunch of cheapskates in my entire life. Consider this your one and only warning before these mythical moochers take you for everything you’re worth. Cactuar Do not let the constant expression of benign idiocy on this spiky miscreant’s face fool you, for behind it waggles the silver tongue of a practised grifter. The Cactuar knows only two phrases. The first is “oooooooo”, and the second is “lend us a fiver please mate I’ve got a terrible thirst on from standing in the desert all day.” Go on. Give it a fiver. See what happens. Within … [Read more...] about Final Fantasy VIII’s GFs ranked in order of how much money they’d owe you after a night out
At least one person close to former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick believes the quarterback will play in the National Football League again. Not only that, but the person also believes that could happen as soon as “next week.”That person would be Kaepernick’s attorney, Mark Geragos, who spoke to TMZ about Kaepernick’s current situation. When asked whether he thinks Kaepernick will play again this season, Geragos responds with, “I would just say stay tuned. Next week, there may be some news.”After saying he wouldn’t reveal any more information, Geragos revealed a lot of information.Before we go into all that, this is the point where we tell you Geragos isn’t the most reliable source here. Last season, he predicted Kaepernick would sign in November. That, obviously, did not happen. On top of that, this is Kaepernick’s attorney. It’s not his agent. We should probably take everything he says with a massive grain … [Read more...] about Colin Kaepernick’s lawyer hints at two teams that could sign the QB ‘next week’
Allow me to be blunt—professional football, as we know it, is dying. By all accounts, the National Football League is the twenty-first-century tobacco industry. Dogged by public health concerns and tarnished by unwinnable political skirmishes, Sunday has become just another day of the week to many sports fans. According to a report by ESPN, the average Sunday Night Football viewership has seen a consistent decline over the last few years, falling to a loss of 4.347 million viewers between 2015 and 2017. Not only is the NFL losing fans, but it’s failing to create new ones. According to a 2014 survey conducted by Sports Business Journal, 61% of millennials believe that the NFL is a “sleazy” organization. And that was four years ago—before the NFL’s blatant mismanagement allowed its very existence to be a highly sensitive, political issue. While these numbers pose questions about the longevity of the Madden franchise, it seems less likely that football … [Read more...] about What Will Football Games Look Like After the NFL?
Tecmo Bowl called tomorrow’s big game for Philadelphia. Madden countered with a New England victory. Here to break the tie is Mutant Football League, which launched two weeks ago. MFL says the Patriots (pardon me, the New London Hatriots) pull it out with what appears to be a record-setting field goal to complete a comeback from 21-0 in the second quarter. New England gets some help when defensive end Lawrence Guy goes supersize, stomps on Nick Foles, and takes the ball 30 yards for a touchdown to narrow the score 21-14. The halftime score is 27-26, indicating some missed conversions along the way. The shit really goes down in the second half, when Tom Brady chucks an interception at the 1-yard line and Eagles QB Nick Foles gets safetied on the ensuing possession, making it 30-28. Brady works out of the shotgun — literally — to get the ball to the 40, but the drive stalls there. That’s far enough for Stephen Gostkowski to toe what looks like a 57-yard field goal … [Read more...] about Mutant Football League weighs in with the final Super Bowl prediction