This is a rush transcript from “Tucker Carlson Tonight,” August 14, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

MARK STEYN, AUTHOR AND COLUMNIST: Hey, good evening. Welcome to “Tucker Carlson Tonight.” I’m Mark Steyn in for Tucker who has gone fishing. He has gone whaling, but he’s put down the harpoon and he will be talking to Adam Carolla direct from the very last whaling Tavern in Provincetown just a little later.

But first, I.C.E. offices — that’s the enforcement arm of U.S. immigration — I.C.E. offices across the country are being hit with an unprecedented and escalating wave of violent threats. Fox chief breaking news correspondent, Trace Gallagher has all the details — Trace.

TRACE GALLAGHER, CHIEF BREAKING NEWS CORRESPONDENT: Mark, these threats are not only targeted, they are replete with precise information. For example, a Florida group called GEO is a private contractor used by Immigration and Customs Enforcement to provide facilities for immigrants caught crossing the border illegally.

In disturbing video taken Monday during a protest outside GEO headquarters, protesters from groups that include Black Lives Matter of Broward County and Never Again Action took specific aim at GEO’s former general counsel. His name is John Buffin and listen close, because you’ll hear it. Watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We know where all your children live throughout the country.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We know where you sleep at night. We know what kind of dog food you buy your dogs.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We are not actually joking. John Buffin, you go to [bleep] church on [bleep]. You live on [bleep] road. We are not joking.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GALLAGHER: Imagine public doxing and just hours later, two I.C.E. facilities were shot at in San Antonio. Nobody was hit by gunfire, but officials say Federal employees were in the building at the time and we’re narrowly missed.

The F.B.I. says the location of the shots was no accident and that the shooter or shooters targeted certain floors of the building occupied by I.C.E.

Both I.C.E. and the F.B.I. point to heated political rhetoric and discourse as the motive behind the attack. And remember, just one month ago, a man with a rifle attacked an I.C.E. Detention Center in Tacoma, Washington tossing incendiary devices at cars and trying to blow up a propane tank. The man was shot and killed by responding officers — Mark.

STEYN: “We know where your children are.” This is disturbing stuff. Thanks for that, Trace. The wave of threats should be no surprise though. For months, our Members of Congress, presidential candidates have been towering the men and women of I.C.E. as the latter day Gestapo for simply trying to enforce America’s laws.

Victor Davis Hansen is a Senior Fellow at the Hoover Institution and we always appreciate his insights. Victor, Kamala Harris has compared I.C.E. to the Ku Klux Klan. And Marianne Williamson, another presidential candidate has said these I.C.E. raids are like the Nazis rounding up Jews in the 1930s.

VICTOR DAVIS HANSEN, SENIOR FELLOW, HOOVER INSTITUTION: Yes, remember, Mark that AOC said that they had set up concentration camps. So, they have and that’s a reference to perhaps DACA, then they must be as well, Nazis, and we all know what we’re supposed to do about Nazis.

But we’re also told by the left that we’re not supposed to connect violence with political rhetoric in some cases. Of course, when Trump said the word “invasion” that was used by everybody that was the grounds for charging him with a desk basically of people in El Paso.

But I think in this case, this was a targeted ambush. It wasn’t a mass shooting as was the Tacoma incident. And it comes on the wake of a lot of people that are running for President who, as I said, want to abolish I.C.E. or reform it to such a degree that it would be impotent, or we should remember as well that I.C.E. agents are persona non grata in most states and cities and jurisdictions, 500 of them.

So there’s been a dehumanization and depersonalization of these very heroic people that keep us secure. The question is, Mark, though, why is it happening now this spate of attacks? I think the answer is that I.C.E. is actually starting to turn the corner because they are starting to deport people who have criminal records.

We’re not issuing green cards to people who are going to go right on to public assistance. We’ve redefined refugee status. Mexico is helping out. Some of the Central American governments are feeling the heat and are worried about exporting human capital. And I think the result is we’re about 25 percent down in crossings and up on apprehensions.

That should be good news, but we’ve got to remember where we are in the in this Jacobin Party that’s now taken over the old Democratic Party. They see open borders as central to their Electoral College strategies, and indeed, if they can’t convince the electorate of 51 percent agenda, then they want to change the Electorate, so they’re panicking.

STEYN: But this demonization and de-legitimization, do you think it’s a good faith? I mean, if you genuinely think, as these presidential candidates and other big shot Democrats suggest that these are Nazis rounding up people for concentration camps, then you’re morally obligated, presumably, to taunt low-level bureaucrats with the fact that you know where they sleep at night, you know, where their kids go to school. You know what pets they have and what food their pets eat — as all these guys were doing. Do you think it’s actually a good faith assault on them there? Or do you think it’s entirely cynical, Victor?

HANSON: Well, I think it’s very dangerous. And notice, Mark that while most of these candidates on the left weigh in on almost every shooting, we haven’t seen any of them really weigh in to any significant degree to stop it, because they could say, my opposition to some of the practices of I.C.E. is not commensurate with trying to destroy I.C.E. offices.

Especially they could say that because they’ve told us again and again that rhetoric that can incite violence, at least in some cases, but they’re not doing that because it’s almost as if they feel that these attacks on I.C.E. offices might deter a little bit the purview of I.C.E. and then that might spike illegal immigration up a bit.

And I’m trying to be blunt, but I think — I really do believe that they feel that illegal immigration has flipped California, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, and it’s central to the future of the progressive movement.

STEYN: And if it flips —

HANSON: They’re pretty open and candid about that.

STEYN: And if it flips Texas, they win the Electoral College now and forever.

HANSON: They do, and one way of taking Texas is saying that anybody who enforces border security or supports I.C.E. or sells a product to I.C.E. is tantamount to a Nazi, and as you said, if you’re tantamount to Nazi, we know we should do with you.

And there’s not going to be — they’re trying to prep the battlefield in other words, so that people don’t speak out against this.

STEYN: Professor, thank you for that. We always appreciate hearing from you. Congresswoman and wannabe revolutionary Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has done more than anyone to vilify I.C.E. As we just heard from Victor, she has accused them of running concentration camps at the border.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ, D-N.Y.: The United States is running concentration camps on our southern border. And that is exactly what they are, they are concentration camps. The fact that concentration camps are now an institutionalized practice in the home of the free is extraordinarily disturbing.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

STEYN: Yes, only if you have absolutely no idea what a concentration camp is. Rhetoric like that makes Alexander Ocasio-Cortez’s base of socialists super happy, but does it do much for her own congressional district?

Our pal, Lisa Boothe is a Senior Fellow at the Independent Women’s Voice and she joins us with the answer to that question.

Lisa, I was amazed by this because she is a rock star to the American left. She’s a rock star in Hollywood. She’s a rock star in Silicon Valley. In her own Congressional District, she can only raise 1,500 lousy bucks from her own constituents in donations.

LISA BOOTHE, CONTRIBUTOR: Well, and what’s interesting is “The Daily Caller” Foundation did an analysis of available FEC filings, and they found that the number that you just said basically broke down to only about 10 constituents within her district donating to her thus far in 2019.

That being said, her district is a D-plus 29 District, which means that it is heavily, heavily Democrat. So the likelihood of her being defeated, it would really have to be a strong primary challenger, certainly not a Republican candidate.

STEYN: Right. But it is weird because it’s a phenomenon among the Democrats. You have these congressmen who can get donations from Barbra Streisand and Ben & Jerry, but their own constituents seem somewhat indifferent to them.

BOOTHE: Well, I am sure a lot of it has to do with the fact she seems to be more focused on becoming a national figure as opposed to just serving her congressional district.

But the irony of all this, too, is if you look at the Obama administration, in 2014 — or 2012, rather, they deported about 410,000 illegal immigrants, I.C.E. did. You didn’t really hear these kinds of criticism.

In the video that you showed off the top, that was an Instagram video that Alexander Ocasio-Cortez did in June, as you mentioned, referencing concentration camps, calling these border facilities concentration camps, which you saw drew really sharp criticism from Jewish groups of making that an insane comparison.

STEYN: Yes, no, absolutely. Thanks for that, Lisa. Keep watching these guys for us because we need it.

BOOTHE: I will.

STEYN: Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez isn’t just in a feud with anyone who thinks America should have a border. She is also in a spat with the founder of Barstool Sports. Dave Portnoy recently made a series of anti-union tweets and of course, of which she said he’d fire anybody on his staff who contacted a certain pro-union journalists and in response, AOC accused him of breaking the law.

She doesn’t care when 20 million illegal immigrants break the law by breaking into the country, but when she can use it to shut down a functioning business, infractions of the law are far more important.

Dave Portnoy says he wants to have a debate with AOC. She is being strangely coy about that. But Dave is with us today. She has threatened to rain down the might of the Federal government on you, Dave, are you cowering?

DAVE PORTNOY, FOUNDER, BARSTOOL SPORTS: I’m not cowering. I’d love to talk to her, have a debate. But I don’t think she’s going to do it. She did use Barstool Sports and my name in the clout. We have a big following to try to raise some donations. She sends out a letter and said she is fighting us.

STEYN: That’s right.

PORTNOY: But yes, no, I doubt she’s going to step to the podium.

STEYN: Now, I saw a fascinating discussion by our friends on Fox Business about an hour ago who seemed to think you are screwed. You’re going down. You’re finished.

PORTNOY: Yes.

STEYN: That apparently a sub National Labor Review Board Regulation, Trump’s — this so called First Amendment thing with so called freedom of speech and Steve Forbes, former presidential candidate, Steve Forbes seems to think you should be quaking in your shoes.

PORTNOY: Yes, I saw the debate. I actually tweeted it out and I called it a debate on the genius of Dave Portnoy because some people seem to be thinking I was playing, gaming the system and trolling.

The people who think I’m going to jail, they’re idiots. Let me clarify real quickly. We are a comedy site. We are pretty, pretty clear that. We have no union at Barstool Sports. Nobody is trying to make a union at Barstool Sports.

I actually — the whole union debate, it’s just a site that I don’t like, not the ringer, 2015 Gawker, which is a lowlife loser site.

STEYN: Yes. Absolutely.

PORTNOY: They formed a union of nitwits with no talent and I was making fun of them. I wasn’t talking about, you know, factories. I actually don’t know a ton about that. I’m talking about Barstool Sports. And I was making fun of our own employees saying, “If you try to make a union, I’ll crush you.”

And then these morons, who have no idea what we do, jump into the fray like AOC, o-crazy-o. I want credit when that takes off by that nickname.

STEYN: Alexandra o-crazy-o Cortez. He said it first.

PORTNOY: First. Because I know Donald is going to use it. I get the credit for that, because it’s a really good one. But they don’t know what they’re talking about. You jump into the mud. And hey, guess what? We had the biggest day we’ve ever had in Barstool Sports.

And this is a guy who last year, got dragged out of the Super Bowl in handcuffs because Roger Goodell doesn’t me.

STEYN: Right.

PORTNOY: So it’s a big game, and the people who are tweeting us, the blue check marks and all of these people, they should spend less time tweeting, more time working, and then they won’t have to worry about the union.

STEYN: So AOC who can only raise $1,525.00 from her own constituents has actually with a single tweet of hers, raised far more money for you.

PORTNOY: Yes, it’s lining our pockets and she is trying to do the same. Now again, I don’t think she has any clue who we are or what we do. She just jumped in the fray like an idiot. And now it helped us.

But, yes, it was a good day for Barstool. It continues to be. If I had a nickel for every time people who don’t know what we do say I’m going to jail, I would serving like oh, well, I guess, a nickel, but a hundred life sentences.

STEYN: No. That’s fair. He is not a danger of taking this to the Supreme Court, folks. Barstool Sports should be sued for its cricket coverage which is a little wobbly. But maybe you have to get into tea rooms for that. Dave Portnoy, thank you very much. Good luck with the Alexander o- crazy-o Cortez. That does deserve to take off.

Tucker is coming back from his fishing trip. He will be speaking to Adam Carolla. That’s just ahead. Also Jeffrey Epstein is dead. But the long tentacles of his depraved lifestyle stretch on. We’ll have new developments for you. That’s coming up later.

Plus breaking news from Philadelphia, six officers wounded while trying to deliver a warrant to a suspect. They’re all expected to recover. Ongoing hostage situation. We’re going to monitor that story and bring you any developments as we get them.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

STEYN: The investigation into Jeffrey Epstein’s death has already revealed almost laughable ineptitude in the New York jail where he was held.

According to the latest reports, instead of preventing his suicide, two guards at the Metropolitan Correctional Center instead fell asleep and failed to check on him for three hours and then falsified their reports after the fact to cover up that they’d fallen asleep instead of guarding the guy they were meant to be guarding.

They’ve been placed on leave, and the warden of the jail has been reassigned. Cameron Lindsay is a former prison warden himself. And he joins us now. Sorry, about that Cameron.

CAMERON LINDSAY, FORMER PRISON WARDEN: That’s okay.

STEYN: Your whatever — whatever gender you are these days and the whole multiplicity of them — you’re very fetching. I should ask you this, which Rudy Giuliani said the other day, he was asking about this suicide watch business. And he said, “Why wasn’t he just on watch, watch? He’s a high profile prisoner. You’ve got to keep him alive until the trial. You don’t just take him off suicide watch, and then treat him like any other guy who happens to be detained in there for a month or two? Is it actually possible to do that, to customize a scheme around one particular prisoner?

LINDSAY: I don’t believe so. I believe what happened here was that subsequent to Mr. Epstein’s suicide attempt, he was appropriately placed on suicide watch. That would entail direct and constant supervision by a trained Correctional officer or a specially trained and certified inmate companion member that would sit right outside the locked cell of Epstein and stare directly into the cell.

It’s direct and constant supervision 24/7. I believe up to that juncture, they had done everything right, in terms of the suicide attempt and the suicide watch. The problem, frankly, from my perspective, is that he was taken off suicide watch. And I don’t know why that would be.

It’s conjecture on my part, but I’m thinking that there’s probably a decent chance that Epstein was able to convince or perhaps manipulate a mental health professional into believing that he was no longer a threat to himself and was therefore removed from the watch.

So that’s the real problem. Once an inmate is removed from suicide watch, he is or she is traditionally moved back to the special housing unit and into administrative detention, where they’re only supposed to be checked on — well, at least once in every 30 minute interval on a near regular basis, but at least once within every 30 minute timeframe,

It sounds like based on what you’re telling me that did not happen that would add insult to injury, and that’s extremely unfortunate.

STEYN: Well, let me ask you this then, because according to the latest polls, a plurality of Americans actually believe he was murdered now. And it is surely the case that they believe that in part because this pile up of things that went wrong, which would be totally implausible in a prison breakout movie where everything goes wrong, is simply too much to be true.

You’ve been a warden in Brooklyn, just down the road from Manhattan, is this in any way systemic or typical?

LINDSAY: I’m afraid it is systemic. I have great respect for the Federal Bureau of Prisons. It’s a good agency. You have 35,000 staff or so that put their lives on the line every day. It is a solid agency.

But from my perspective, I believe that Congress needs to help out. They need to loosen their purse strings. We need more positions in the Federal Bureau of Prisons. That’s a side issue. Go ahead.

STEYN: No, no thank you, Cameron, for that. That is — that’s very insightful and we appreciate the experience you brought to it. It looks now as if it’s going to be impossible to bring a civil or a criminal case against Jeffrey Epstein because he is no longer alive to answer to it.

But his state is still there to be targeted, and today that process began. Epstein accuser Jennifer Araoz sued his estate for damages claiming that Epstein preyed on her starting from when she was, I believe, just 14 years old.

The lawsuit also targets three of his employees, as well as his girlfriend and alleged predator and supplier of girls, Ghislaine Maxwell.

Monica Lindstrom is a former prosecutor and defense attorney, and she joins us now. First of all, on the criminal business, Monica, do you think any of these — any potential criminal cases against Ghislaine Maxwell or anybody else are actually going to go anywhere? Or is that just all going to fade away now?

MONICA LINDSTROM, FORMER PROSECUTOR AND DEFENSE ATTORNEY: I think with law enforcement being so zeroed in and focused on this Epstein investigation that it’s very possible that criminal charges could come out against the co-conspirators and others involved.

There’s the talk about the 2007 plea agreement that Epstein signed that allegedly basically gave immunity to his co-conspirators. That plea agreement has a lot of issues and it might end up getting thrown out. And so that might be the only hurdle that the law enforcement has against the co-conspirators.

STEYN: Well, you’re a former prosecutor. I’m not, I’m just a layman, but that plea agreement reads very wacky to me that the United States not only cuts a deal with this guy, but absolves any potential pals he might have had.

LINDSTROM: You know, out of all the plea agreements that I’ve written and offered, never once did I say, and I don’t recall anybody ever putting down that we won’t go after co-conspirators, especially when they’re not part of the plea agreement itself.

It’s almost like they’re a third party beneficiary to this contract between the state and the defendant. But what we do know is that plea agreement really violated the law because the victims had no idea what was going on.

So like I said, that can end up getting thrown out, and I think law enforcement is so focused on these co-conspirators that they should be pretty worried right now.

STEYN: Just very quickly, Monica, the civil cases, lower burden of proof, but are they going to go anywhere?

LINDSTROM: Yes, absolutely. Epstein has enough money, his estate has enough money. The plaintiffs only have to prove that it’s more likely than not that this happened, and in the #MeToo era movement, I think they have a good chance with the jury.

STEYN: Okay, well, we’ll wait and see how that goes. Thanks for that, Monica. Newly obtained documents suggests that thanks to Bruce Ohr, Fusion GPS, and indeed the Clinton campaign may as well have had its own office inside the Department of Justice. That’s coming up next on TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

STEYN: A Federal judge has just shut down the latest gambit by Congressional Democrats to advance their impeachment agenda. Fox chief intelligence correspondent, Catherine Herridge has more — Catherine.

CATHERINE HERRIDGE, CHIEF INTELLIGENCE CORRESPONDENT: Mark, the decision is a victory for the Justice Department and a setback for House Democrats who tried and failed to link the request for secret evidence in the Russia probe with the enforcement of an outstanding subpoena.

The Justice Department argued and Chief Justice Beryl Howell agreed that access to Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s grand jury material and the enforcement of a subpoena for former White House counsel Don McGahn are separate issues.

Because the grand jury material involves Criminal Procedure and the McGahn subpoena is a civil enforcement issue. That means the McGahn case has been randomly assigned to another Federal judge, and it’s another indicator that the court action could go well beyond the 2020 election.

That timeline matters because it conflicts with Chairman Nadler’s recent public statements about moving quickly and voting on impeachment before the end of the year.

Separately, a Fox News review found that former Special Counsel investigators are having no trouble finding new jobs with prominent law firms and prominent law schools, even securing a major book deal after the nearly two-year probe ended with no Russia conspiracy or obstruction charges — Mark.

STEYN: Thank you for that, Catherine.

HERRIDGE: You’re welcome.

STEYN: My goodness that judicial decision is almost too sane to be true. Newly released Department of Justice documents reveal how Nelly Ohr of Fusion GPS transmitted material from the Trump dossier to her husband, senior D.O.J. official Bruce Ohr. That information then, of course, filled the Federal government, percolated all the way through and was used to tank the Trump administration with bogus insinuations of espionage before it had even been sworn in.

Tom Fitton is the President of Judicial Watch. Judicial Watch obtained those documents, and he joins us now.

Tom, this nexus between one woman who is working for a group that’s working for the Clinton campaign who happens to be married to a senior figure in the government. This is basically classic Banana Republic stuff because it’s the merger of the party and the state as it were.

TOM FITTON, PRESIDENT, JUDICIAL WATCH: Yes, Bruce Ohr is telling the F.B.I. essentially, “Hey, I got this information. Let’s investigate the President.” This is after President Trump is elected. He brings in a flash drive with his wife’s material on it, stripped from that material is the header — the information Fusion GPS — from the headers, so they were trying to disguise the material.

We get that from the F.B.I. interview notes, and then we get this other batch of documents that you’re talking about, which describes the material that Ohr is shepherding on behalf of his wife and the Clinton operation to his colleagues at the F.B.I. and it includes a chart —

I mean, people have got to go with this chart, because it’s crazy. It’s about 80 names, and then she tries to tie all of them to Russia and to Trump. It’s like an insane version of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.”

If you saw it on a wall somewhere and you walked into a room with it, and you say, “Who is the crazy person who created this?” This was the basis for the Trump-Russia fraudulent investigation, and the fact that the senior levels at the D.O.J. and the F.B.I. were using this material to target a sitting President tells you volumes about the corruption behind the effort to overthrow him. This is the coup cabal in its insane form.

STEYN: Well, let me ask you a very simple question based on what — you asked for the documents, the communications between Bruce Ohr and this MI-6 agent, British subject Christopher Steele after he had been gotten rid of by the F.B.I. Bruce Ohr was still palsy-walsy.

Has there ever been a U.S. domestic election process as interfered with by one foreign national, as has been perpetrated by this British spook, Christopher Steele? I don’t understand why Americans aren’t mad about that.

FITTON: Yes, I think there’s an open question about the involvement of his former colleagues in the United Kingdom. We have the Australian government who is being asked uncomfortable questions about this as well.

This was an international conspiracy against the President. It has laid out in the F.B.I. documents Ohr and Steele are working together during the campaign, after the campaign, and magically, they hire Ohr’s wife in the Clinton campaign to help push material into the Justice Department.

You’ve got to hand it to the Clinton gang. They had all their bases covered. They were flooding the zone — D.O.J., F.B.I., state and the wife of a senior Justice Department official.

STEYN: And most of Washington’s Five Eyes Intelligence allies in on the scheme. It’s an amazing thing. Keep digging on this, Tom. There’s lots more to come. Thank you very much for that.

This is a Fox News Alert. A gunman has shot at least six officers in Philadelphia. There is a standoff going on right now, and Senior Fox News correspondent, Rick Leventhal is on the scene. What’s happening, Rick?

RICK LEVENTHAL, SENIOR CORRESPONDENT: Well, Mark, we’re standing right in the middle of Broad Street. That’s Erie behind me, for people who are familiar with Philadelphia. We’re in the north part of the city, the Tioga Nicetown neighborhood, the scene is just a couple of blocks down here in that direction. You see a massive, massive turnout of police here.

This standoff has been going on for some four hours now. There are six police officers who’ve been shot so far and three others who were injured in car crashes and responding to the scene. And as far as we know, negotiations are ongoing with the gunman.

But Mark, I’ve just been in touch with a police source who tells me that the SWAT team actually tried to make entry to the location where this suspect has a weapon, has apparently been live streaming as he is shooting at officers out the window and through the ceiling to a couple other officers who were pinned down upstairs.

I’m told the SWAT team tried to make entry and had to retreat because of the heavy gunfire coming from the suspect who is armed with an AR-15 I’m told as well as several handguns.

I’m also told a girlfriend is involved in these ongoing negotiations trying to talk him down or talk him out. But he has fired, by some reports, at least a hundred rounds, possibly more, and the situation continues here in Philadelphia — Mark.

STEYN: Yes, it sounds like they’ve got bullets coming through the walls and the floors and the ceiling. Stay on top of that, Rick and of course, do stick with Fox for any updates as the evening goes on.

And feel at home, it’s what you’ve been waiting all hour for, the great Tucker Carlson making a guest appearance on Tucker Carlson’s very own show. It’s a huge novel concept. He is going to be with Adam Carolla. That’s coming up with Tucker, next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

STEYN: Every year, colleges in America costs more to attend and teach their students less. So at what point should Americans simply stop paying for worthless garbage degrees from schools that function as social engineering propaganda Mills.

Before he went fishing, Tucker sat down to ask that question of Adam Carolla. Here is Tucker.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

TUCKER CARLSON, HOST: So your kids are about to turn 13. College is not that far from now? Are you happy at the prospect of sending them to college or no?

ADAM CAROLLA, HOST, THE ADAM CAROLLA SHOW: No, I’m not. I mean, especially the cost of college. And also, I don’t know what they’re going to learn in college these days.

Also, it seems weird to me that they need to be shipped off somewhere to go to college like, that’s a weird concept to me, like with all the information in the world at your fingertips, on your smartphone, the idea that you’re going to get in a plane and go across country and go into a brick and mortar building.

I mean, you think about these colleges, are there older buildings in the country than the college campuses? I mean, when you — look, look, I grew up in North Hollywood, the oldest building we had was a Kmart from 1974.

Like, you go to Harvard or Yale or Princeton, I mean, these things — some of these buildings are 300 years old, right? I mean, as far as this country goes, those are the oldest structures.

CARLSON: Right.

CAROLLA: Physically in our on our land, right? And the notion that we’re going to send them there to have their brains sort of scrambled by a bunch of people who couldn’t cut it in the private sector doesn’t make sense to me.

CARLSON: So you just made — to get to the heart of it, you said all human information basically resides on this device in your pocket, but we’re putting on a plane and paying 70 grand a year to send them someplace else. So maybe it’s not really about acquiring knowledge. So what is it about? What is the point?

CAROLLA: Well, I think the notion is the knowledge part is a little bit null and void because you can quench your thirst for knowledge about any subject at any time on the computer. So then it becomes about, well, what about experience? Then what about, you know, a social interaction experience?

And I would say drop them off at a business and let them be what they used to call me on the construction site, start off as a glorified gomper, which is low man on the totem pole, oh, can we say low man anymore?

CARLSON: No.

CAROLLA: Low — what — I don’t want to — I don’t want to use a pejorative here and assign a race or gender.

CARLSON: I don’t know the answer but I know the pronoun is they. That’s all I know.

CAROLLA: Okay, low-they, are not on the totem pole because that’s cultural appropriation.

CARLSON: Good point.

CAROLLA: Low-they on the barber pole?

CARLSON: No.

CAROLLA: Lo-they on the flagpole?

CARLSON: No, definitely not on the flagpole — on the utility pole.

CAROLLA: Low-they on the telephone pole.

CARLSON: Yes.

CAROLLA: Yes, let them show up. Let them learn how to work. Let them learn how to interact.

CARLSON: But do we dare do that? I mean, I’m with you a hundred percent. I don’t notice a lot of parents in our world, you know, who could pay for college. I don’t notice them doing that.

CAROLLA: I don’t know — I mean, this notion of like, “You are the first person to go to college in our family,” isn’t that kind of a bygone era or this notion of — look, people in my family went to college. I didn’t go to college. I’m vastly more successful than everyone in my family.

Dad, are you — where’s dad? The point is, I’m insanely, insanely more successful than everyone who went to college. So you’re talking to the wrong cat, like my thing is like, get to work, work early, work off and get a job, fight to keep it and see if you can better yourself along the way.

But this notion of dropping them off somewhere in a time when we’ve made the concession that there is no more brick and mortar anymore. I mean, you want to buy a book, you buy it on the internet. You want to buy a DVD or whatever it is you want, everything is — there’s no more brick and mortar. Why is the last brick and mortar thing literally bricks and mortars from 300 years ago?

CARLSON: Has anybody provided a good answer to that question that you’ve heard?

CAROLLA: No, but I — I don’t. I think the notion of college is sort of like when we grew up, you go out to breakfast, they put a sprig of parsley by the side of the plate, and you would go, “Why do you do that?” And they’d go, “Because that’s what you do.” And you go, “Does anyone eat the parsley?” They go, “No.” And you go, “Does anyone want the parsley?” “No.” “Does anyone enjoy the parsley?” “No.” “What do we need the parsley for? And they go, “Because that’s what you do.”

And then at some point in 1988, the parsley went away, and nobody was outraged. Nobody went like, “Well, where’s the parsley? How am I supposed to enjoy my succotash with no parsley?” And it just went away and nobody knew it.

I feel like college — I feel like we could do that with college. If you want to be a doctor or if you want to be an oral surgeon, we all know those caveats. Of course, you need training. You need the sciences. You know, engineering, whatever it is, but for just the humanities and general education and all that kind of stuff, that’s the parsley by the side of the plate.

CARLSON: Do you think — so your kids will go off if they follow the normal script in about five years? Do you think five years from now, we will have reached the point where they’ll say to you, “I’m not that interested, I want to go work.”

CAROLLA: I think my daughter who is much more interested in these social experience will want to go. I think my son who is a little more sort of brass tacks will see that there’s not that much benefit in sort of kicking around for four years and in building up debt.

So, I think my daughter will want to do — will want to have that social experience, which is “why wouldn’t you?” I mean, it’s like fire festival for four years. I mean, if it worked. I don’t mean the fire festival that lives in the hearts and minds —

CARLSON: Better in combinations.

CAROLLA: Every rich slacker out there, but I mean, the idea of going and parties and formals and sororities and events and, you know, protesting against Ben Shapiro. I mean, it all sounds so fantastic.

CARLSON: So you think your son will take a pass on protesting against Ben Shapiro?

CAROLLA: I think he’ll probably be on Ben’s shoulders with a bamboo stick swatting at Antifa.

CARLSON: So my last question, how much of this system which you’ve basically in a very cheerful way, kind of devastated, it is the partially on the plate, wanted and needed by nobody, how much of it persists because of the social anxiety of upper middle class parents, do you think?

CAROLLA: Well, I think as we’ve learned from the USC, Lori Loughlin scandal and all that good stuff, it’s not more than narcissism of the parents that are projecting it on to the kids. You know, I mean, they run in circles where they want to explain that little, Little Dakota is off for Stanford and Little Jade is heading to USC, and it’s more about them.

CARLSON: Yes.

CAROLLA: My feeling is that that’s very dangerous territory in any facet of life, when you start kind of becoming your kid and start getting like reflective glory off of what your kids have done. Like there’s a sports version of that. That’s scary. There’s a scholastic version of that that is scary.

So your kids are your kids. They’re individuals. They’re 18. They can vote. They’re adults. They can fight wars. Don’t make where they end up so much about you and what you talk about at cocktail parties.

CARLSON: Exactly. Exactly. Nicely put. Adam Carolla, thank you.

CAROLLA: Thank you, Tucker.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

STEYN: A quarter million dollars for the opportunity to protest Ben Shapiro. That’s a hell of a deal. You should take that. Modern Democrats want to ban you from eating all kinds of food, but for 10 minutes their presidential contenders had to stomach all American carnival food to win over the voters of Iowa. We have graphic — photographic proof of their efforts, up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: Now, you look at Kasich. I don’t think he knows what — you know, did you see him? He has a news conference all the time when he is eating. I have never seen a human being eat in such a disgusting fashion.

(Laughter)

TRUMP: I’m always telling my young son, Baron, I’m saying — and I always do with my kids, all of them. I’d say, “Children, small little bites small.” This guy takes a pancake and he is shoving in his mouth. It’s disgusting. Do you want that for your President? I don’t think so.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

STEYN: Magnificent. That was Donald Trump on the campaign trail in 2016. Safe to say, the President can have a lot of fun with how his rivals eat, so he is no doubt salivating, if you’ll pardon the expression, while surveying the Democratic field.

The Democrats have become the party of smug, coastal elitism, and everything that it comes with it and on food, that makes them the party of veganism, artisanal arugula on a bed of even more artisanal arugula and paying 27 bucks for a small plate of aspic Tuvalu and fusion cuisine. Let them eat kale, as Marie Antoinette actually said before they mistyped her.

Our cutting edge Democrats want taxes on meat and want humans to eat bugs for the sake of lowering the sea levels in the Maldives in the year 2200. But now almost every Democrat who is over 35 and holding elective office is running for President and to become President, those Democrats have to go to Iowa and try fitting in with the proletarian masses and they’re grotesque appetites.

And that means visiting the Iowa State Fair to eat State Fair Food. Bill de Blasio tried to ban hot dogs from old city run establishments in New York, but in Des Moines, he has to pretend to look happy chowing down on a corn dog.

Kamala Harris tweeted out a photo of her eating a pork chop, and then probably made up for it with a follow up tweet commemorating Eid al-Adha, a Muslim pork-free holiday.

Andrew Yang was seen walking around with a giant turkey leg, the giant turkey leg is actually out polling him in Iowa. These are the states that the Democrats have got to, maybe we could throw in one of those along with $1,000.00 a month he wants to give every American, and everybody in D.C. and New York City is eating expensive handcrafted Italian gelato. But in Iowa, Kirsten Gillibrand had to make do with just plain old ordinary vanilla ice green.

Pete Buttigieg maybe had the wildest time of all. Over the course of four hours, he chowed down on a pork chop, a fried bacon bowl, BLT, a root beer float and of course several fried Oreos.

Cory Booker refused to compromise on his vegan principles. So he stayed away from all the pork and turkey and instead contented himself with a deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Of course, as soon as the caucuses are over, Democrats will go back trying to get Americans to eat soybeans and silkworms. That’s not too bad actually, if you deep fry them.

If it works, though some of them will get rich, Al Gore is the single biggest investor in the meat substitute company, Beyond Meat. Marc Morano is the publisher of the excellent climate depot and author of, “The Politically Incorrect Guide to Climate Change.” And he joins us now and Marc, Al Gore is basically online to become the world’s first post meat billionaire.

MARC MORANO, AUTHOR: Yes, I’d call it the first fake meat billionaire. He has invested like he did — now, you go back before President Obama was elected, Al Gore came up with a list of green tech firms and companies that people should invest in. Obama puts $2.5 billion and 14 firms get Federal money from Obama.

Fast forward, this year, Al Gore invested in the fake meat substitute. It’s made of 22 ingredients including bamboo and potato starch, and now it’s the most successful IPO at the same time Gore associates are writing reports condemning meat and climate.

Gore is essentially lobbying for regulations that will enrich him once again.

STEYN: Yes, these are the — we had a lady talk to me about this the other night. She wants everybody to switch from eating meat burgers to these Beyond Meat burgers.

At my general store, they have two buggers for a buck. So that’s 50 cents apiece, but the Beyond Meat burger is like $17.00, so Al Gore is getting a pretty nice royalty of every one of those Beyond Meat burgers.

MORANO: Yes, and if he gets, you know, fast food contracts or Federal money and if a Democrat wins the White House, there’s going to be a whole you know, fake meat stimulus. This was time — the IPO — the most successful of 2019 thus far, was timed on the eve of this big UN report.

Al Gore steeped in politics and regulatory powers was involved in this IPO, with his company investment and then it explodes. Now you have all of the world talking about meat regulations.

The UN Chief himself said a successful UN agreement will result in skyrocketing meat costs. That’s what they want to do. So what’s the alternative? Pea protein. That’s what in this Al Gore burger. It’s made of all kinds of weird ingredients like that.

STEYN: Okay, I think I’m going to have one after the show. Have a regular burger on me, Marc Morano. Thank you for that.

MORANO: Thank you.

STEYN: That is about it for us. Tune in each night at 8:00 Eastern to the show that is the sworn enemy of lying, pomposity, smugness, group think and fake burgers.

And don’t forget to DVR the show if you haven’t already.

That’s it from us. Sean Hannity is here for you right now.

Real meat all the way. Take it away!

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